In this evangelism series, we have sought to encourage you to look to Jesus in your relationship with lost people. As we focus on Jesus, He promises to transform us to be His kind of evangelists (Matthew 4:19). We have identified four phases in building grace and truth relationships. In the previous articles, we looked at the first phase – personal preparation. In this article, we will observe how Jesus modeled initiating a conversation with the woman at the well in John 4:7-26.

By going to the well, Jesus was present at the place where the woman frequented (verse 6). Jesus used common talk "give me a drink" to start a conversation (verse 7). In an engaging move, Jesus asked the woman to do something for Him (verse 7). By talking to this Samaritan woman, Jesus cut through the ethnic, gender, and lifestyle barriers to engage in a conversation (verse 9). Jesus turned an every day conversation to spiritual realities about Himself (verse 10). When the conversation appeared to be ending, Jesus creatively continued the discussion by answering her questions and concerns (verses 21-23).

The fourth evangelism skill we need to develop to be like Jesus is to be genuinely interested in our unbelieving friends. We should not treat the lost like a project to be fixed but as an individual to be loved. One of the best ways to love someone is to take a genuine interest in them. A good way to take an interest in someone is to ask questions and then LISTEN. Some of us may have the tendency to “high jack” a conversation. What do I mean? We ask a question and then we jump in and take over the discussion. That is not listening!

In order to help us ask good questions and listen, here are Four H’s of Listening adapted from the book B.L.E.S.S. Five Ways to Love Your Neighbor and Change the World by Dave Ferguson and Jon Ferguson.
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• History: “Tell me your story.” “Where did you grow up?”

• Heart: “What’s your favorite (team, restaurant, vacation destination)?”

• Habits: “What are you into?” “What do you like to do with your free time?”

• Hurts: “How are you doing with (name the situation)?”

Let me encourage you to take one of these questions and initiate a conversation with your unbelieving friend. As you listen, ask appropriate follow up questions. Be curious. People love to talk about themselves. Take a genuine interest in them. The old adage goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Pray for an opportunity to initiate a conversation. Try one of the Four H’s questions. Be curious and see what doors God opens to further Gospel conversations.